Week Five: Mirror, Tape and Scale: A Triumvirate of Evil

It was late at night and yet there was one thing she had left - her daily Bible reading. As part of a ninety-day challenge, large portions of Scripture needed to be read every day... and she was behind.

It didn't seem to matter what changes were made throughout the week, the weekend always seemed to herald the crumbling of any resolutions or plans to get ahead with housework, laundry, planning, paper management, blogging, and now Bible reading.

The text scrolled endlessly in front of her. So many laws, so many details. God had been so particular with the Israelites about so many different issues. Suddenly, there it was, a Scriptural reason for her to return to Square One; a reason for confessing and beginning again.

"Just balances, just weights, a just ephah, and a just hin, shall ye have: I am the LORD you God, which brought you out of the land of Egypt."

-Leviticus 19:36

This scenario played out in my home just a few minutes ago. On Tuesday of the past week, my husband, Jason, returned to work after a two-month period of being laid off. While this was news extraordinaire and was met with much rejoicing, it did mark the end of a vacation-like period.

The week that followed, and that has now passed, proved to be challenging on several levels. This is the first time since the birth of my second son (two months ago) that I have been home with the two of them by myself.

Trying to keep up with my two precious morsels of manhood while maintaining the house, my part-time bookkeeping and tutoring jobs, two blogs, and a diet journal gave me much to be active about. Let us say nothing of the weekend we spent away from home!

Throughout this time, I have been dwelling on the necessary evil of scales, tape measures, and mirrors.

Mirrors, I find, are extremely necessary in the weight-loss process. Without them, it is so easy to fall into a less-than-real self image of yourself. I know I certainly have.

In my mind, I know I am a little overweight, but not extremely so. I am aware of a few bulges, but nothing that a nice shirt can't cover. I know my pants are a little snug, but they don't look terrible as I gaze down my front.

Then I pass a full-length mirror!!!

And the beautiful dream vanishes and shock sets in. The extra fold of skin on my neck becomes a double chin as I look down at myself. That nice shirt only covers the front few bulges and bunches up in the massive rolls behind. Those pants still look great... from the knee down.

I realized recently that I have not lived around a full-length mirror in over a year. As a result, I never see what I look like below the bust line. I can see my face becoming a bit more plump and can see that my arms don't fit as well in the sleeves. Entirely missing from the picture is the battle that has been lost beneath my waist.

A tape measure serves to confirm my hasty glances at my surprisingly large figure as it "darts" past full-length mirrors in other places. The temptation with a tape measure is to pull it very tightly, so as to "trick" yourself that you have lost inches. This does no favors to you. The lie will soon become evident.

My greatest confession comes to you in the area of scales. I have a delightful little scale. On it, I have discovered that by rocking back on my heels while weighing in, the pounds simply melt away - as many as six or eight pounds!

This week, I have been feeling guilty about how I use the scale, knowing deep in the ankle-bone of my heart that I do not weigh in reality what I write down every week.

It is now to you, my lovely readership, that I confess to using this tool improperly. Shakespeare's Hamlet has one of the most powerful lines; "To thine own self be true." The blatant truth of the matter is: I have not been honest with myself with respect to weight loss.

With that in mind, I have purposed to use these three tools - mirror, tape, and scale - honestly, no matter the data they convey to me.

Mirrors, I no longer pose in front of; seeking the best angle and holding in my stomach so I can give myself a better self-image before walking away. I will be purchasing a full-length mirror for the house. Not for any narcissistic purpose... for as Jackie Gleason once said, "It's hard to be a fat narcissist." Rather, I hope the mirror will help me live in a more realistic place; a place where I will not lie to myself about size and appearance.

Tape measure fraud I have circumvented with my new technique of measuring. So often, I would compare the current measurement (while measuring) with a previous data point, naturally allowing for some small adjustment in tape tension to increase comparative circumference lost. Now, I take measurements without even so much as a glance at the last weeks' data points. In this way, I have no clue if the current measurements are better or worse than the previous week - thereby maintaining an honest measurement session.

Scale manipulation is perhaps the hardest to eliminate. My solution is to place the scale in exactly the same spot each time and to stand on the scale in exactly the same foot and body position each time. I stand in such a way that I cannot see the digital numbers changing on the scale display and I stand there without looking for a minute until the scale freezes with the final weight. In this way, I cannot shift my weight to cause a lower weight to appear on the display.

As Leviticus says, "Just balances... shall ye have." Accuracy and honesty in weights and measures were (and still are) important to God and should be to us. May each of us be blessed with a new freedom, as only honesty can give, as we choose to measure our lives with honest and true measures.

(picture courtesy of www.redbookmag.com)