Day 235: The Axiom of Choice

Through the still quiet of the pre-dawn darkness came the ultimate sound of irritation: the incessant beeping of the alarm clock. What a nasty way to be awoken from the deepest of sleep and what dark ruminations exist toward the inventor of such a fiendish creation. Emerging from a sleepy fog, the call of the gym and the workout becomes more clear and with it a dilemma... or is it a choice?

I'm sure all of us at one time or another have experienced the [insert emotion here] of being awoken by an alarm clock, and I have to wonder how many people (except for those few perfect ones) have a love-hate relationship with that bit of electronics. I've been grateful for the alarm. I've been angry. I've been disappointed. I've been discouraged. I've even been delighted to hear that garish beep.

So let's face it. Could it be that the issue lies not with the alarm itself, but with each of us as individuals? Could it be that our response to that call to awaken arises, not from that lowly item, but from a plethora of emotions and thoughts which occur, sometimes, even before we go to sleep.

I find it ironic that I had planned most of the week to write on this particular topic.

Ironic because I had set my alarm for five this morning, giving me enough time to awaken, dress, and get to the gym by half past. This was important because Jason needed to leave the house at eight after seven, giving me 1.5 hours at the gym. This meant I would be able to just barely do my cycling and swimming for the day, but not the weights. I would have to be very punctual and have minimum transition times to accomplish this.

Well... the alarm went off at five. I snoozed it for ten, knowing I still had plenty of time. Saw the clock read twenty past and then I did it; I rolled over and re-enveloped myself in the warm and inviting down comforter and soft, fuzzy pillow. Yes, I got some more sleep (which I did actually need), but there were consequences.

I am now behind a full day of my training schedule and will have to make it up. Usually this means my Saturday - which I have allocated as my Rest Day - becomes a normal workout day because I took Friday off. ::sigh:: Not only that, but I miss out on the benefits of working out in the morning (perhaps I shall speak on those in a later post).

What happened? I lost focus of WHY the alarm was set in the first place. I needed to get up with the alarm because I'm working on losing weight. To lose weight, I'm following a training schedule which will culminate in a triathlon. To follow that training schedule for today, I needed to be up by five. Kinda sounds like the kingdom being lost for want of a nail, yes? Today, I was only thinking of the self-centered, emotion-of-the-moment reason for turning the alarm clock off and staying in bed.

How often does this happen in our lives? Where have we switched our focus from the longer-vision WHY we are doing to the more instant gratification and emotions of the moment? This perspective on life and our actions in that life applies to so many areas. WHY can't you have that slice of cake? WHY can't you buy that cute pair of shoes? WHY are you forbidding your child to whine?

These questions, when taken alone, seem depriving and depressing. It is only when the big picture is added back in and the WHY is answered that things make sense and lose that seemingly depriving state. I can't have that slice of cake because I am choosing to regain my pre-wedding weight. I can't buy that cute pair of shoes because I want to be debt-free. I am forbidding my child to whine because in life, whining is not the correct way to deal with disappointment or frustration.

As I thought last night about what I would share with you today, I had determined I would share with you my own personal success in this area: the area of focusing and acting on your WHY. ::tiny trumpet sounds in the background:: Instead, after this morning, I realized I only had a failure to share...

The old me would have drowned this failure in a blueberry biscuit or two from Hardee's, would have reveled in depression and posted a dismal Facebook status update, and most likely would have "boosted" my crushed spirits and faltering morale with a "comforting" full-spread Outback steak dinner.

That, however and thank God, is not me any more.

True, I did not meet the goal I set for myself this morning. Is that a reason for abject depression and abandonment of my exercise and weight-loss goals? Absolutely not. Instead, I admit I made a mistake and now I will move forward to have a productive, positive day with resolve to improve on tomorrow's performance.

All of life is a choice. Every single event you face, you have a choice. You are never the victim. I find it more and more like my mom used to tell me, "It doesn't matter what anyone else does, it only matters what you do." I have taken that little saying and have applied it to my own standard of living: I cannot control what others do to or around me, but I certainly can control how I respond in ANY given situation.

This week, I challenge you. I want you to choose and control your responses to the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune... [the] sea of troubles... the heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to." Remember (or, in some cases, discover) your WHYs and reform your thoughts and responses to the minutia of life. It's your life; chose to live it well.

Day 225: Does Your Life Have a Soundtrack?

Hey, did you know 225 is the square of 15?

Okay, so maybe that would be more appropriate for a math-oriented blog... this is clearly a health and fitness blog right? On the surface, that is true. Below the surface, there lurks the beautiful world of numbers and math.

Those of you who know me will most likely remember that I LOVE math and numbers. But before anyone's eyes turn glassy and roll up behind your eyelids, just relax. I'm not going to descend into the realm of heavy math. Smile. Breathe deeply. Relax.

Saturday, 24 July 2010 marked the supposed endpoint of the Ruth Cooper Project.

I started this blog in December of 2009 when one of my best friends invited me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. I've always wanted to be a bridesmaid and if I had been a bridesmaid in as many weddings of friends that I've attended over the years, I could easily have starred in the movie 27 Dresses myself!

While this news thrilled me, a simultaneous explosion of terror ran through me: I would have to wear a formal dress! To most people, this would not be a big deal. To me, having just given birth to my second son a month before and still carrying the 115 extra pounds from Son Number One, this was bad news. My standard wardrobe at the time consisted of faded maternity t-shirts and two pairs of maternity pants - one velvet, the other stretch.

Something had to change, and fast, if I wanted to be stunning at my friends wedding.

I figured if I applied myself, I could get very close to my goal weight by the time of the wedding... and yet, as the Chronicles of Ruth show, I never managed to keep my focus on the dieting or exercising to the extent needed. Yes, I lost 30 pounds using various techniques. Yes, I started working out more. Yes, I was feeling and moving better then I had been.

The truly shameful thing is this: during my several months of silence on this blog, I gained back every pound. That's right... every single pound. The embarrassment I felt at stepping on the new analog scale and watching the needle sail effortlessly by the "maximum" weight tick mark was so incredibly depressing and more often than not, sent me in search of something comforting - at that time: Outback steak, sweet potatoes, bread and butter, and mango tea.

Wouldn't you know, though? During that two or three months, this blog and the responsibility I felt to all of you who have worked so hard to support and encourage me in emotional and financial ways (I still haven't forgotten one of you paid for six months at the YMCA) forced me to get back on track.

I am back on track.

Today, I realized more than ever that I have made some serious life-style changes. Not only in the mind realm, but also in the physical realm. Although I was no where near the weight I had hoped to be at my friend's wedding, I had already taken drastic steps to ensure I would one day experience that goal. Since my enrollment in the Tidewater Bariatrics program on 11 July 2010, I have already seen 21 pounds of weight melt off and over 12 inches of girth disappear.

Did that weight really melt off and did those inches really disappear?

No.

There is a great deal of purposeful dedication and many conscious choices behind these successes.

Success stories aren't fuzzy and rarely are they glamorous. Sure, there are the few that are stunning and breathtaking. They are the ones that make you envision your path to your goal as one of those overly-inspiring, chest-puffing, back-straightening, emotion-swelling, inspirational-soundtrack video montages on all those overly-inspiring, chest-puffing, back-straightening, emotion-swelling, inspirational-soundtrack epic films out there.

I mean, seriously... who isn't with Rocky as he trains for his comeback? Who isn't with Braveheart as he travels the countryside rallying men to his cause? Who can resist wanting to join Cuba Gooding, Jr. as he sweats through his military and diver training? Who among the math geeks and nerds can fail to be inspired to solve the unsolvable with John Nash (especially with that soundtrack!!)? Finally, who can hold back a tear or still their heart rate as the 1924 Olympic team experiences the result of thousands of hours of pain, tears, and sweat?

If the hard parts of life could happen in an inspiring montage, complete with swelling soundtrack, I'd be a sleek, muscular, lithe athlete. [Standing in front of a mirror, I have to chuckle at this]. The point I'm trying to make is this: we are not in a finished film production. There is no montage yet. The soundtrack hasn't been written and there are no glamorizing filters. Right now, we are in the very middle of making our montage possible.

I believe there cannot be great things without great investment.

So when you're feeling discouraged, think about your favorite "success movie training montage" and then think just a little bit more about the sheer amount of dedication, ups, downs, triumphs, failures, excitements, disappointments, laughter, tears, joys, and depressions that made up that character's success montage.

Success doesn't just happen; you have to want it.

[In case you were wondering, the films I referenced above were, in order: Rocky Balboa, Braveheart, Men of Honor, A Beautiful Mind, and Chariots of Fire.]

Day 217: Go Waste, Young Man... Go Waist

I heard a story - and maybe you have, too - about a man who had worked for many years for a construction company. He worked selflessly and hard, but eventually he had had enough and went to his boss. After explaining that he was ready to retire, his boss requested that he do one last favor for him and build one final house.

Reluctantly, this man begrudgingly built the final house; cutting corners and doing shoddy work. The house was finished quickly... perhaps too quickly... and the man's boss came for a final inspection. At the conclusion of the inspection, the man left the house with his boss who took a folded piece of paper and handed it to him. His boss mentioned how much he had appreciated his work over the years and to please accept this gift in gratitude for all his hard work and diligence.

As the boss walked away, he left a stunned man looking down at a set of brand new house keys.

Now think about the human race. We stroll blithely through our lives in the most amazing and complicated collection of mechanics and systems ever created; so balanced and so fragile, yet so absurdly resilient and diverse - the human body. We have been given such a gift in the form of the human body and yet we think nothing of it and treat it with such disrespect.

What about this idea... you are building and shaping the house you live in. Now think... what kind of job are you doing?

Last week, I made a huge and significant commitment to losing the rest of my excess weight; I joined Tidewater Bariatrics' Decision Free diet plan. Tidewater Bariatrics is a weight-loss clinic providing rapid weight-loss programs with medical supervision and high levels of accountability and support - they even supply the food you eat.

I went through medical and psych evaluations, talked with the doctor and nurses, and had lots of labs and medical panels drawn. Needless to say, I was absolutely fascinated by the entire process. I love numbers and data and medical stuff; this was right up my alley. Results of the labs reported I was in good health, with all numbers (except for my weight) being good. I did have a Vitamin D deficiency (a 14 when 35 is normal). Apparently, many overweight people going for gastric bypass surgery suffer from a Vitamin D deficiency and I have to wonder if their obesity is linked to the depression and low energy that surfaces as a symptom of Vitamin D deficiency. Feeling low? Might want to get that checked.

Anyway.

Yesterday I completed my first week of official dieting and have decided I love this program. There is so much accountability and so many ways to share your successes and progress that I find myself quite motivated, not only to participate, but also to lose weight and remain compliant with the program.

Every week, we have a two-hour class to educate us on various areas of weight loss... both physical and mental aspects. Honestly, I was arrogant enough to think that I already knew what we were going to talk about this past evening. I have a lot of curiosity and some training in the medical arena and I assumed that since the group leader had said we were going to talk about proper choices in eating that I already had a firm handle on what she was going to say.

I was not prepared for the depth of insights I gained while in class that night!

During the course of the evening, the topic of discussion turned toward fantasizing and dreaming about food. As a patient of Tidewater Bariatrics, you have a limited amount and variety of food from which to choose and the temptation to imagine what you will eat when off the diet is strong, as is desiring food that you may not have if you wish to be compliant.

I giggle here because every time I hear (or read) the word "compliant," I have a visual of being strapped into a cyborg suit and regeneration chamber or of tottering mechanically through a green-hued, smokey atmosphere while hearing a multi-layered mechanical voice proclaim, "We are the collective; you will comply."

But I digress...

What struck me so strongly was the propensity for people to dwell on food in their minds. So... they're not eating it anymore, but what are they still doing? Dreaming and fantasizing and desiring. Wait. What is wrong with that? Could it be that food is taking the place of things we should be dreaming about? of goals that we could be achieving? of relationships with family and friends we should be nurturing?

How many times have you heard someone say they "love" a particular food item or that a certain toothsome pastry "made their day"? What about the whole "I'd kill for a donut and coffee right now" mentality? Or "I was dreaming about eating this chocolate cake allllll day today." Can you see how this is just a little bit wrong?

Here's a more frightening thought. Is this the group of people Paul was talking about in Philippians? Those who were "the enemies of the cross of Christ: whose end is destruction, whose God is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame, who mind earthly things."? Perhaps what alarms me the most is: Am I one of those people?

So save your daydreams and fantasies for actual people and goals. Food won't love you back. You cannot have a normal, human-style relationship with comestibles. Stuff you eat should never be a life goal. Also, if you are plugging in relational gaps between you and your loved ones - spouse, children, relatives, friends - with food, you are not fixing anything or solving root issues. What is worse, it's like painting over mildew so everything will "look" beautiful.

We are each building the house we live in.

What kind of house are you building?

Week Nine: Encouragement Is Like a CheeseLovers Pan Pizza

The outfit was perfect... and would never have been able to be worn several months ago. Actually, several months ago, she never would have even dreamed of wearing anything like it.

The black fine-knit sweater clung closely to her form, its intricately woven black-beaded collar surreptitiously catching the overhead lights, adding flicker and half-hidden sparkle. The floor-length black skirt swayed confidently with each movement, framing and enhancing.

This was good; this was a wonderful state of being. She felt beautiful... no... she felt elegantly gorgeous!

Be honest. How many of us would love to feel that way again (if we ever felt that way before)?!

I know I certainly would. I would give almost anything... preferably many pounds of fat... to feel like that again. To have perfectly fitting clothing. To not have to persistently tug on shirt or skirt to ensure correct positioning. To not have to restrict one's movement so as not to disarray the carefully placed clothing. To not have to think one single stray thought about whether stance and gait enhanced or detracted from actual weight perceptions.

That picture above was taken three years ago on 3 February. It was at my brother's wedding and I had recently returned home from a three-month stay in Mexico. Having dropped a few pounds while there, I was enjoying the delights of being able to wear whatever I wanted and not have to worry about whether or not unsightly bumps were adequately covered.

I was free to move, to dance, to stand, to sit, to bend, and to sway as I saw fit. This may not seem like a great deal to many of you, but for those who live in a constant personal hell of trying to disguise shameful fat, this freedom bestows an incredible sense of elation. No tugging. No pulling. No worries.

This picture jumped out at me as I clicked my way through various folders and files recently moved to my brand new laptop. For a moment, I did not recognize the face that stared back at me. Slowly, and with a degree of shock, I realized the picture of the woman in front of me was actually... me!

Initially, a flood of discouragement slammed me in the gut as I acknowledged I no longer looked ANYTHING like the picture. Fighting for supremacy, my better-days-lie-ahead self put forth the notion, "True. But that is what you're working toward. You WILL make it there... and then some!"

Encouragement is a beautiful thing and for me, as I struggle and pray through a "hump" part of this diet, I see before me what my end goal is. Sure, I have hanging in the bathroom a goal dress. Sure, in my mind's eye, I can imagine the svelte-ness I shall one day be. And yes, I do look in the mirror every day, searching for diminished circumferences upon my frame.

More tangible than all these goals and hopes is the picture I share with you today and this little piece of advice. Never hesitate to encourage each other, for uplifting words provide the wings on which we soar above our difficulties. Don't over think about what the other person might think about or say to you; just act.

Your support of me and your encouraging words have given me the strength to persevere and stick it out one more week. Yes, it is through Christ that I do all this, but I believe that He has given you to me as an encouragement and as a source of accountability. I do not wish to let you down, all you who are cheering me on from afar. At this moment, my carb-hungry brain likens an uplifting comment from a reader to a sip of ice cold Pepsi after a bite of deep-fried Pizza Hut pan pizza (with extra cheese)!

See. You just never know what seemingly-insignificant word(s) of encouragement will do to strengthen a fellow traveler along the way!

...I think I smell a slice of CheeseLovers pizza!

Week 6: Running Amok with [Insert Temptation Here]

Glancing at the aunts behind her, the eleven-year-old girl pushed on the exit door of the Old Country Buffet. The odors of warm and inviting food gave way to the crisp, invigorating scents of fall air and the brisk liveliness of the outdoors.

Pronouncements of satisfaction and delight filled the air as the two older women relived their recent dessert experience and lovingly patted those body parts where those extra calories would soon gather.

"A moment on the lips; a lifetime on the hips."

This foreign adage fell on the little girl's ear and, after learning the meaning of that phrase, solemnly announced to the amused aunts that she didn't gain weight down there. Despite their comments to the contrary ("Just wait until you get older"), the little girl was quite positive she never would.

And the aunts laughed.

Well... that day was about... hmm... yes, well... a while back. And that little girl was I. I saw what older women looked like and where they put on extra poundage. After eleven years of deep experience and minimal weight gain, I was also equally sure I would NEVER look like that nor accumulate weight in my hips and derriere; NEVER!

Alas. As the years have passed, not only has the surplus of emergency reserve clung to my hips, it has also padded that which I sit upon, increased the circumference of my arms, added to my jawline, filled out my stomach, obscured my waist, and hidden the natural contours of my legs. To my chagrin, the aunts were right. Thus, from a childhood memory, a hackneyed phrase, and something I'd recently read, an insight was born.

How many times has the following happened to you? You're either on a diet, or have been doing SO well, and one day you mess up. How often do you throw the entire plan out the window? Become depressed? Despondent? What do you do when in the depths of dietary despair? Cry? Eat? Watch depressing chick flicks? Eat? Whine to your friends? Eat? Make new resolutions? Eat? Re-write your entire diet plan from the beginning? Eat?

Personally, my "excuse" to end any diet has always been to mess up just once, give up in despair, eat every yummy thing in sight, and sink into massive depression as I scroll through my mental slide-show of Svelte Me; tears streaming because I don't look like what I think I should look like... and never will. ::sigh::

Been there? I'm sure most of of us have been at this point at least once in our lives; at least once.

Okay. So you ate that Hershey's Kiss. Oops. You didn't work out at the gym today(!). Gasp. You ate the WHOLE cheesecake?! And what do you mean, there are 48 servings in that sheet of gooey carrot cake?! Are these reasons to give up on your weight-loss or fitness goal? Is any one of these a sufficient reason to get depressed and go on a week-long eating binge? Which of the above is the unpardonable sin that will forever separate you from thin bliss?

News flash. Just one mess-up is NOT going to ruin your life. And at the risk of puncturing self-pity bubbles and dismembering personal food fest plans, I shall state this again (this time in bold): Just one mistake is NOT going to ruin your life.

Switch your focus from the small to the large picture. Don't look at the mistake and fall into a vicious cycle of self-condemnation and self-loathing. Don't take your tear-stained cheeks to IHOP. Don't try to end all your good intentions by stuffing your head in the nearest cookie jar. Instead, admit you made a mistake, ask yourself (and whomever else) for forgiveness, and get right back on track.

Think objectively. If you suddenly snapped one late afternoon or evening and gobbled down a whole handful of chocolate or inhaled a slice of pizza or lost yourself in a glass of soda, yet everything else with your eating and exercise was fine - this was your only mistake - what would the damage be? Honestly, not that much!

From a physical/mathematical standpoint, what's the worst thing that just happened? Um... you ate an extra couple hundred calories. Do you realize that the average human burns 2000-2500 calories PER DAY; not including specific exercise! One larger-calorie meal in the midst of smaller meals will be treated by your body as an anomaly instead of the norm. Drink some extra water and maybe eat a little lighter the next meal... but don't give up and binge through the weekend.

Make sure your mistake doesn't turn a mistake of a few hundred calories into a several-thousand-calorie mistake! It's not worth it. By nipping your slip-up immediately, chances are you'll never see lasting side effects from your mistake.

The true price that tends to be paid with dieting "cheats" or "slip-ups" or mistakes is paid in emotions. The guilt we lay on ourselves is enormous; it does far more harm than we realize. Remember: the link between guilty depression and comfort eating is a fairly reliable one. So be prepared to fight.

Do yourself (and others) a favor - take a little responsibility and catch your mistakes while they are yet small and do it in a be-kind-to-yourself way. In so doing, you will keep them from ruining your life and will help you maintain self-control.

After all, real life is not like a regimented diet. The more self-control and moderation practiced throughout the assigned diet period, the more likely you will be able to take those skills and apply them to normal eating and living.

Think life change; not diet.

(photo courtesy of www.babble.com)

Week Four: 2010: The Year We Make Contact

In the darkness, a stirring was felt. A dry breeze created a tiny flurry of dust; dissolving the creation as fast as it had been made. Soft rustling gave evidence to the slight unease felt by the sleeping group occupying the nearby cave.

A hint of promise and premonition tinged the golden rays of the rising sun as they caressed the harsh, black outlines of the mysterious monolith as it stood, alone and foreboding in the clearing outside the cave.

Full of curiosity and wonder, one now-awakened member moved slowly toward the impressive monument. Taking in the awe-inspiring sight, he hesitantly moved one outstretched finger toward the shiny, non-reflective surface stretching before him, ground to sky.

As the cold blackness of the surface enveloped the inquisitive finger, his primitive brain exploded with a flood of new, unheard of data! The possibilities were endless; prospects were larger and capabilities and talents had expanded beyond all possible belief. What a wonderful new world! What potential and what newness lay ahead!

If you read this to the stirring tones of Strauss' Also Sprach Zarathustra, I'm sure many of you would recognize this hypothetical meeting between earth-bound ape and alien-planted monolith as originally imagined by Arthur C. Clarke and forever immortalized by Stanley Kubrick in his 1968 film, "2001: A Space Odyssey."

In that movie, the enormous black monolith, appearing suddenly and seemingly out of nowhere, represents a tool which first spans the evolutionary gap between ape and man, later the gap between man and space travel, and ultimately, the gap between man in space and man transcending human form. Each of these scenarios presented in the movie showed humans, by mere contact with the monolith, ascending to the next level in their evolution.

Now, I do not hold with these evolutionary theories nor do I believe that we began as lowly apes who can one day aspire to shed their human form and evolve ever upward. No.

This whole metaphor is being used for an illustration of the relationship between us and our potential. Within each human, I believe, lie the seeds of greatness and unfathomable tenacity; the ability to do great things - "something wonderful."

As this new year begins, I am disturbingly aware of the millions of New Year resolutions that have been made throughout the world - resolutions, the majority of which will never rejoice in the light of completion. Hundreds of thousands of people will soon feel the sting and degradation of promises to self that will be broken; four out of every five (according to NYTimes.com). Approximately one-third of New Year resolutions will fail before the end of January.

In 1984, Peter Hyams' award-winning movie based on Arthur C. Clarke's, "2010: The Year We Make Contact" emerged. The whole point of this film was to move the "human evolution" motif forward, bringing the humans into contact with the alien monolith presence (thereby ensuring their ever-upward evolution), while clarifying questions unanswered by "2001."

It being 2010, it was hard to refuse a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to capitalize on this well-known science fiction work. This year is 2010... a year to make contact with your goals, to deal with them head on, and to grapple with previously unresolved issues in your life.

My question to you is, "What is your monolith?"

What will it take to move you from your present state of being to the next level? What will shake you from your comfort zone and transport you to worlds never before imagined? What hopes and dreams are yours to embrace on the other side of your personal barricade?

I know I keep waiting for "something wonderful" to happen; that somehow I will touch the wondrous monolith of weight loss and I shall suddenly morph into a svelte, perfectly-toned woman with not a spare ounce of fat anywhere. Ahhhh... yes.

I have a nagging suspicion that my personal monolith is named Self-Discipline and that it is smoothly shellac-ed with a coat of Self-Control. I'm reaching so desperately for that monolith and I know to touch it is to become heir to the wonders it will unlock in my life... I also know I will never touch this monolith without help from God; it's just too far away and I've been reaching for years.

How desperately are you reaching? How great is your desire to change?

Join me in this year, 2010, and let it be the year we do indeed make contact with true goal success and accomplishment. Find your monolith. Reach beyond your boundaries. Abandon your comfort zone.

Week Two: Small Goals

The lights played gently across the sparkling surfaces of five gems, bound firmly together in their golden enclosure. Snuggled serenely amid three jewels of deepest blue, two diamonds winked knowingly up at the wearer, complementing the glow softly emanating from a plain gold circlet as it was slid slowly onto the fourth finger of her left hand. With a gentle and passing pressure, the wedding band glided over both finger joints and settled firmly at the base of her finger.

Both rings fit so beautifully...

Whoever decided that losing weight before and during this particular time of year has some twisted and sick sense of humor!! What does that say about me?! I am not one of those people who self-inflict the nameless torture of bypassing the myriad of toothsome holiday goodies. Those delights which shamelessly flaunt themselves and imply they possess the power to soothe all inner desires and cravings.

And yet I have purposed to get this weight off within a certain time frame.

The past seven days, though full of fun and fellowship, were full of calorie-laden treats, most of which were consumed at a far greater quantity than should have been allowed.

Yet, despite my failings to my project, the past week was not a total wash. Frequently, I would find myself choosing NOT to have excess sugary treats. I cut back on calorie-full beverages and extra desserts... except for two nights where I went all out and ignored my noble quest.

I have been pondering the benefits of short-term, small goals. Having over one hundred pounds to lose, it is extremely easy to become discouraged and never truly commit to getting the weight off... one pound at a time.

This week, I decided I needed at least one small goal per month... and I have found a goal for December and January!

For December, I think it would be amazing if I made it through the holiday time, parties, and goodies without gaining ANY weight whatsoever. Most likely, the way to accomplish this is by limiting portion sizes and by scrutinizing how much calorie-full drinks are being consumed each day.

My short-term small goal for January is to have my wedding band and engagement ring fit on my ring finger again. Right now, I have to wear the two rings on my little finger because I cannot get the rings past that last knuckle; not even with soap! The other drawback is that they are too loose for that finger and have been lost once before (and only once... I am extremely paranoid about losing them now)

I'm guessing it will take the loss of around twenty pounds to get the finger down to a size where both rings will fit comfortably. I furthermore believe this goal to be possible by the end of January.

So there it is, my first short-term goal on this mammoth journey.